Wife Life | two people, one marriage

I trust you.

A chancy thing to mean, an easy thing to say, and an even easier thing to attach a tagline to. 

I trust you…as long as you leave the big stuff up to me.

I trust you…as long as you trust me.

I trust you…as long as things are easy for us.

I trust you…as long as you do what I want.

That last one is a doozy. Not only is it conditional, but it also implies that one or the other of you is in control of  your marriage. And that's just not the case. 

It's fair to say that, because you married your spouse, you trust them with your life. You've attached your journey to theirs and you now walk together. The two become one. 

But. There are still two people. Two people with inherently different needs, desires, thoughts, and habits. And it would be damaging to us to ignore those differences and assume that, because you are married, you sort of meld into each other -- unable to recognize where one stops and the other begins. The reason why you got married in the first place is because you were (hopefully) intrigued by the other -- you fell in love with another person, right? And you realized that your life together gives more glory than your life apart. 

Sometimes, that other person makes decisions or does things that you get and you you agree with. And sometimes they don't. Trust, real unconditional trust, is expressed in spite of your agreement. Trusting that they see a bigger picture, trusting that they are taking care of their individual, trusting their faith, trusting their heart, trusting that you may not be right. And trusting that in in the midst of the decisions you both may make, God is. And he redeems and reconciles all things to himself. 

Upholding and supporting differences in our spouse is just as important as supporting our marriage as one. We may never fully understand this marriage thing, but hopefully through experience we get to know our God better. And we get to know his desires better as we journey in relationship with him. 

[The picture above was taken during our recent trip to Jeremy's home town. It was so special to visit that place with him and experience a little bit of his past. It still amazes me how God can bring together two vastly different people for his unifying purpose. But we are overwhelmed by the blessing and look forward to all that is yet to come.]