There is one metaphor for a couple's first year of marriage that has always stuck with me  -- it's like two jagged stones knocking into each other constantly. Nothing seems to match up and every-day planning, discussions and activities seem to be up for question and last way longer than they should. 

At times we are finding this to be so true. We laugh at how different our thought processes can be sometimes, how differently we make dinner or fold clothes or plan for the day. One of us loves the morning time and one of us is a habitual night owl. 

One thing that has always helped hash out the differences is a huge helping of grace and kind words. Always trying to give the other person the benefit of the doubt and believing the best intentions of their words. I can't tell you how many times the words I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that have come out of my mouth. (Being slow to speak is not my strong suit.) And we are learning to be gentle and explain what we mean or why we did something. 

There needs to be grace for getting us lost on the road, grace for leaving x number of water glasses out, grace for forgetting to check the soup on the stove, grace for being late, grace for making a rotten birthday cake (my bad), grace for sickness, grace for breaking dishes, grace for habitually relocating items....buckets and buckets and buckets of grace. For each other. And for the process of growing with one another one day at a time. 

"I know God's love better now because He put you in my life," he said. And that's just what this is all about, isn't it. We come to know the God of love and grace through the people around us. Our community. That's what this is for. 

We've got to have confidence in the process because God is in the midst of it. And day after day, those jagged stones get smoothed out by the overflowing of His love and grace through and towards one other. Slowly we create a rhythm, sending praises back to the One who created it all -- for all the glory and all the honor. Forever and ever. Let it be so. 

new series: the (newly) wife life

Many of you know that this past August JT and I got married. It's been a joyful (almost) eight weeks and I feel like we're really on a roll here. One of the things that we've both noticed is the huge learning curve that comes along with this whole married thing -- learning so much about your spouse and so much about yourself. Never in my life have I worked on communicating so well with someone or watched so much football. It's fun, challenging, confusing, glorifying and exciting all in one fowl swoop. 

Recently, I've been wanting to process what it means to be a wife and continually find ways to glorify God through marriage and family.  JT and I both feel strongly that our first ministry is within our family. To be good to each other and good parents (eventually), magnify the gospel in our little community of two. Only out of that center will we be able to reach farther out into a larger community to do the same thing, whether that be in a church that JT pastors or elsewhere. 

I'm excited to share with you a new series on this little blog that I'll be starting about just this. On the things we are learning about each other, about being a wife, about the little things we can do for one other and for ourselves that help us focus on what really matters. I want to share the funny quirks, the mistakes and the lessons. The things that as a wife, in particular, I can do to be a part of making our life filled with more love, grace and passion. After all, it's the little things, right? 

This is by no means meant to be marital advice because i think suggestions coming from a lady who's been at this for less than two months would be, well, scary. I do want this to be something I look back on and treasure -- a perspective from the newness and excitement of it all. A sort of back to the basics take on being a wife and experiencing the learning curve. Eventually, I'd love to have a few guest posts thrown in here as an opportunity to hear from other women about perspectives on "wife life" and what there is to learn during different lags of the journey. Sound good? Awesome. 

I'm eager to hear your thoughts and would love to have you guest post if you're feeling so inclined. 

there's a rumbling

via

Oh my soul. There is surely a rumbling.

Lately I've been so inspired by this season of life, by the women of the Influence Network, by the Spirit, by my husband's sermons...it's endless. And all these things are doing some major work on my heart. These are the thoughts that you almost want to keep a secret because they are so sacred and precious inside of you and for some reason it feels as though they might loose their sacredness if they come out of your head. But here's the thing. We are here to spread that preciousness and inspiration and encouragement like wildfire. So let's do that. 

Too often we are tied up in the expectations of others. Tied up in lies, rules, and impending judgement of everything we say and do. We are bound by fear of what is to come. Our heads fill up with regret or the everlasting fact that we are never good enough. These things can hold us back from living into the person the Lord has created us to be. They hold us back from experiencing true...and I mean true freedom...and facing every coming moment fearless and expectant of good. 

But this rumbling...it comes on strong. And it becomes a battle cry that shakes up every nerve in the body. Here's the secret. We have been equipped by God with everything we need to be the beautiful people he has created us to be. He's instilled it in us. Do we believe that? Do we live every day expectant of that? By throwing off all fear and other's expectations we are free, so FREE!, to live into his promises and be strong, faithful, effective, fulfilled and joyful people.  I wish for this truth to dwell deep in you and make you as bold and faithful as God made you to be. There is so much power in that. 

I must admit to you that this may be the first time I have felt truly truly free. And living in this truth makes me a different woman, wife, daughter, friend, worker...everything. I'm not turning back. 

*To read more about freedom from expectations and living wild and free, check out posts from Leia from Becoming Bryn and Jessi over at Naptime Diaries. These ladies don't disappoint.