There is one metaphor for a couple's first year of marriage that has always stuck with me  -- it's like two jagged stones knocking into each other constantly. Nothing seems to match up and every-day planning, discussions and activities seem to be up for question and last way longer than they should. 

At times we are finding this to be so true. We laugh at how different our thought processes can be sometimes, how differently we make dinner or fold clothes or plan for the day. One of us loves the morning time and one of us is a habitual night owl. 

One thing that has always helped hash out the differences is a huge helping of grace and kind words. Always trying to give the other person the benefit of the doubt and believing the best intentions of their words. I can't tell you how many times the words I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that have come out of my mouth. (Being slow to speak is not my strong suit.) And we are learning to be gentle and explain what we mean or why we did something. 

There needs to be grace for getting us lost on the road, grace for leaving x number of water glasses out, grace for forgetting to check the soup on the stove, grace for being late, grace for making a rotten birthday cake (my bad), grace for sickness, grace for breaking dishes, grace for habitually relocating items....buckets and buckets and buckets of grace. For each other. And for the process of growing with one another one day at a time. 

"I know God's love better now because He put you in my life," he said. And that's just what this is all about, isn't it. We come to know the God of love and grace through the people around us. Our community. That's what this is for. 

We've got to have confidence in the process because God is in the midst of it. And day after day, those jagged stones get smoothed out by the overflowing of His love and grace through and towards one other. Slowly we create a rhythm, sending praises back to the One who created it all -- for all the glory and all the honor. Forever and ever. Let it be so. 


  1. Erin, this is so beautiful and speaks of the maturity God is growing in you two... "but he knows the way I take, when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold..." (Job 23:10). I love you two so much. You are truly an inspiration to me.

  2. Dear, dear Erin--your last three reflections speak of how consciously you are living life, savoring the unfolding of each day. Your precious humor, telling it like it is, and your bright faith light the way for others. Not resisting the "mischief" of life, but letting it become the seeds of a growing love is surely allowing God to be in all your moments. I love you and your J-guy. xoxo aj

  3. Love this. Gracious words go such a long day. It's so much easier to respond harshly and to act out selfishly- but so much better to love and to give to the other person. Thanks for a good reminder, and for real life stuff.
    I know I often have to remind myself just how GRATEFUL I am for my man.....even when life seems more frustrating to figure out with another person in is o so much sweeter! :)

  4. Amen to your beautiful reflections on marriage. My husband and I are in our first year of marriage too, and while love abounds in our home, it does so when there is--and because of--grace. Bringing two lives together is not easy, as we are finding out, but it can be oh so beautiful.


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