Leia Bryn | Are You a Grace Giver?

Monday, December 16, 2013

I am so excited and thankful for Leia's thoughts on Wife Life this week. She is truly a truth speaking light into my life and so many others on the daily. Today she's talking grace. And boy, could we all use an extra helping of that ourselves. Thank you Leia!


It was almost exactly a year ago, the weather was very similar to today. The temperature was
hovering near zero and a recent ice/snowstorm had just blown through town. My husband Guy
was on his way home from his men’s group a few towns away. I was snuggled up on the sofa
watching a favorite show, excited to have him back home. It was an absolutely normal night in
the Johnson home.

Not long after 10:00pm I heard my phone ringing and saw it was Guy calling. I knew something
was wrong. He rarely calls me when he’s so close to home and in the car. I answered and what 
followed on the other end turned into a far from normal evening. Guy and another car had hit a
patch of black ice, the other car left unscathed, but our car ended up taking out a light post.

Thankfully and most importantly, Guy was okay, not a scratch from the accident, but the car was
less fortunate. A few tow trucks, a rental car, and couple days later, we learned it was totaled and
we had a whole three days to pick out a new car before we had to start paying for our rental.
If you want to talk about a stressor point in marriage, and a growing point as a wife, let’s talk 
about grace for our men. 

When I received that phone call from Guy, I knew in an instant that I had two choices for how I
would respond. I could a.) vomit all my frustrations and worries onto Guy over the phone. Or I
could b.) take a deep breath, throw on my big girl pants, and encourage, love, and respect him in
a moment when he needed it most.

We all know we’d like to answer with the latter. But for me personally (and maybe many
women?), in moments like this, my mind races through the details – almost instantaneously.
How much will this cost? Are you okay? Who should we contact for insurance? How soon can it
be fixed? We as women, we are details people, especially in stressful situations.

But my husband, standing out in the freezing cold, with a busted up car, and a tow truck on
the way didn’t need me to run him through all the unanswered questions. He needed me to
encourage him. He needed to know we were on the same team. He needed to hear respect in
my voice for him as a man and as the leader of our home. He needed to know that no amount of 
damage to the car would damage my respect for him as my husband. 

It all comes down to grace ladies. Grace, is the free and unmerited favor of another. We didn’t
marry perfect men, and we ourselves are not perfect women. We all, men and women, daily
receive the unmerited grace of God. For by grace you have been saved by faith, and this is not
your doing, but it is the gift of God. (Eph 2:8) And we as wives can look to the truths written in
scripture to learn how to be grace givers in our relationships with our husbands.

I want to be honest and say in my short two years of marriage I am no expert on grace. I daily 
experience the internal tension of my choices; to choose to be a grace giver or to choose to take 
away grace. It has been one of my greatest challenges as a wife and one of the sweetest ways to
begin to grasp the grace I receive daily from Jesus Christ.


On this particular occasion, by only the shear power of the Holy Spirit, I choose the latter. And
that picture you see above, that’s my husband in our rental van. Did you notice something about
his face? He’s smiling. Giving me a big thumbs up, because rather than dragging him down with 
my worries and fears, I shrugged my shoulders, hopped in our minivan and had a good laugh. 
Oh and this was about the moment when Guy decided minivans are maybe the greatest invention
ever.

Thanks Erin, for inviting me hear to share a bit today. Your Wife Life Series is a beautiful and
encouraging reminder to take our role as women and wives seriously. You can find me over at
BecomingBryn and on Twitter and Instagram @leiabryn, We have a beautiful community of
women and wives in these spaces and I would love to meet each and every one of you!



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